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“I came back home one day from work and met an empty house, without any prior notice. As I got home that fateful day, my landlady told me that Ngozi had packed out of the house, taking the children along with her.”
“I gave Ngozi all the support and encouragement she needed to boost her career as a seasoned actress, yet she never valued all my efforts. She also never contributed a dime to the upkeep of the house and well being of the children.”
“Even after they left, I still catered for my kids: school fees, foodstuff and all. I’m devastated that my only daughter would do this to me. Ngozi should also desist from using my surname. We are divorced,”
These were the words of Mr Edwin Ezeonu the estranged husband of Nollywood actress, Ngozi Ezeonu, after her found out that his only daughter was getting married without his knowledge.
This is what I mean when a talk about the downsides of women’s empowerment.
It heightens a woman’s hypergamous doubts and increases her likelihood of being lonely.
Because a woman would rather be alone than be paired with a man she perceives to be beneath her level.
Edwin and Ngozi got married in the early 1990s, before she became famous.
According to him, he had to leave his former location and readjusted his plans just to relocate to Lagos and support her acting career.
That’s his first mistake. Altering the trajectory of his life to accommodate a woman, thereby fitting into her frame was a terrible mistake.
This is definitely because he married a woman he’s infatuated by, rather than the other way around.
He married a woman who was on par with or probably above him in sexual market value, and was consequently coerced to choose between ceding authority to her or losing her. And he chose the former only to be met with the latter much later.
If you end up with a woman you feel like you ordinarily do not deserve, or you are lucky to have, you’ll naturally simp for her out of a subconscious fear of losing your rare catch to more deserving men.
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So after about twenty years of marriage, she left with his kids because she believe she’s in a better place and can survive without him.
He changed his life’s plan, shouldered responsibilities alone and even stayed against all odds just to give his children a good family life.
But at the end of the day, his daughter, who’s been conditioned by her mother’s hypergamous doubts, didn’t even have the decency to let him know about her marriage.
This is a lesson for the men who painstakingly pay all the bills, to prove that they’re men enough, while allowing their working wives keep their earnings to themselves.
You’ll understand the mess you landed yourself in after she must have accumulated enough wealth to live independently, while you’re dead broke and with zero investments.
Because you were busy carrying the family’s weight like a beast of burden and paying bills all by yourself while she saved and invested her money. You’ll experience the wrathfμl nature of hypergamy.
A woman who isn’t invested in a relationship will easily leave as soon as her FEELINGS say so.
And women’s do not have the capacity to recognize and appreciate sacrifices. None of Mr Edwin’s sacrifices mattered to her when she was ready to leave.
Not even the fact that the separation would affect her children stopped her.
The Don’ts
1 Do not alter your life’s trajectory to accommodate a woman if you intend to retain your authority. Any woman whose dreams are too big to fit into your frame can fuck off.
2 Do not marry a woman you’re infatuated; a woman you’ll constantly need to impress and convince to stay with you. If you feel you do not deserve her, let her go!
3 Never pause your dream to propel a woman forward. They have the memory of a goldfish and do not remember sacrifices.
4 Be ten steps ahead of her. Before you empøwer her, empower yourself.
5 Always make sure your children recognize your efforts.
Anonymous
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